For many people, the best time to give advice is when being asked. When someone faces a challenge, they need to hear from us to decide what to think and do. It's the most certain situation that what we share is welcome.
Other times, maybe not so much.
Giving advice when a person hasn't asked for it is risky. Our good intentions might go like this for others: "Okay, but that's your opinion." Or they might upset someone, which causes our disconnection and trust to fall out of the relationship, even for a long time.
In many ways, unsolicited advice is similar to "scary honesty" in communication. Being honest with someone is scary. We can't always predict how it will land for people. Does that mean we can't offer our advice and be honest? Of course not.
Interestingly, unsolicited advice and 'scary honesty' can be beneficial when trust is present. Trust allows us to give each other the benefit of the doubt, even when advice is unsolicited or being honest is challenging. Trust is crucial in navigating differences and moments of disconnection in a relationship.
When we believe in connection, instead of depending on others not to trigger our emotions, we are an active participant in finding values of intention that allow us to see beyond what's obvious.
It takes courage to give advice, and it takes even more courage to realize how much people actually care and love us.
