Vivian Paley introduced a new rule in her kindergarten classroom called “You can’t say you can’t play”. She noticed how some children used social rejection to build their power over the others, and wanted to change that.
Ignoring connection requests and not seeing people are among the ways that social rejection shows up in life.
Being rejected hurts. And feeling lonely and isolated are often the consequences of the rejected bear.
Does anyone benefit from the situation?
It turns out loneliness goes way beyond social acceptance and care, and into human biology and wellbeing. Everything about human biology supports interdependence over independence, belonging over loneliness and isolation.
If something is not working for you as a human being, it affects me too.
Brené Brown quoted John Cacioppo’s work in her book, Atlas of the Heart, “To grow into adulthood for a social species, including humans, is not to become autonomous and solitary, it’s to become the one on whom others can depend. Whether we know it or not, our brain and biology have been shaped to favor this outcome.”
Vivian Paley had a point.
